Tick Tock...Tick Tock

Today, in a series for women, our pastor touched on God's timing and us being willing to surrender, to submit that. It got my wheels turning on the time limits we put on God and the time limits we put on our BELIEF. Pastor referenced Sarah and Abraham and how long Sarah had prayed and asked for a child, probably as early as her twenties. Sarah most likely prayed for decades for a child. SHE WAS 90 when God told her she would have a son!!! Do you think there was some slight disBELIEF there??!!! DUH!! The bible says she laughed. I've made that sarcastic "ha ha", how about you? By human standards, she had every right not to BELIEVE at that point.

So, if Holy Spirit has laid something on our heart to believe in, what's the time limit? When do we start tapping our watch, look toward heaven and say "Allright God. Time's almost up!!" We've all been there. We've all come to points where we had our own time frame for what God asked us to believe for or for what we've asked God to do. We've all looked at circumstances, days, months and years later and thought, "God just isn't going to show up" or "I don't have it in me to believe for this anymore". We all have that friend or loved one that we are believing for to be saved. We've all had a situation or circumstance that drags on, that wears on our faith and dashes our hopes. It is then when we must ask for a renewing of our belief, a restoring of our faith.

Romans 4:18 says, "Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations...". My brother and I were talking the other afternoon, discussing what God had been showing him during his Bible study time. He said that very clearly God had him to write down, "Hope is evident". That drew my memory back to a verse that I had written down and pinned on a small slip of paper on the bulletin board in my office. I had written down the first seven words of Romans 4:18 over 3 years ago. I had completely forgotten about that verse written on a little scrap. EVIDENCE! Cofirmation! Renewed belief and restored hope! It's those small notes, tiny jottings down, momentary snipits that don't let the clock run out on our faith.

A dear friend of mine BELIEVED that her husband would come to the Lord for over three years. She had an unwavering faith, a rock solid belief. God had let her know that her husband would surrender his heart to Jesus. I watched her stand on that BELIEF when it seemed ridiculous. He did come back to the Lord and passed away shortly thereafter. Watching this friend has served as a memory that "shores up" my faith at times when I want to doubt. Who do you know that has exhibited such audacious belief? I would suggest writing that person's name down or even a short memory of the situation that you can quickly turn to at those times when your ladder of belief is feeling a bit shaky.

I have two things that I am believing for right now. Do I want to get out a megaphone and yell toward the clouds, "TICK TOCK...TICK TOCK....GOD!!" Sometimes. Will I give up on God's timing? Never.

Which comes first..the chicken or the egg?

I remember bits of a wacky little song from childhood with that phrase in the title or at least in the chorus (maybe from Sesame Street?). It was one of those annoyingly catchy tunes that once heard would run circles in your head for hours. When I began to think about the word "Belief" as it pertains to this blog, the word "faith" followed closely behind. Some use the words interchangeably but in the process of digesting both meanings, I began to wonder if one wasn't a prerequisite for the other. But which comes first, the belief or the faith? There goes that tune again!!

If you have the faith of a mustard seed, can you believe for great things? If you believe what God says, do you have the faith to move in the direction He asks? Maybe the words are synonymous or perhaps the Holy Spirit must open our minds before we have either one. Personally, my level of FAITH seems to hinge on what I BELIEVE and I tend to believe in things I've seen evidence of. The Lord has continually shown me that evidence of His presence, His love, His compassion, His grace and more. Sometimes in very unusual ways and some simply through an answered prayer. I mentioned one such specific answer to prayer in the previous post.

Recently I had moment that gave me another piece of evidence on which to base my BELIEF. It had been an unusually hectic week, tons going on at work and both children with various projects to work on. I began to have feelings of frustration and a sense of being completely overwhelmed. I felt like I had nothing left to give to anyone or anything and yet there was no end to all that had to be done. I was smothering - could not breathe and wanted to throw my hands up and say, "God, I can't do all this anymore!" When I went to bed I got out my journal and wrote angrily, " Lord, I don't feel connected to you lately. I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and worn out......I CAN'T DO IT! If you don't show up Lord, then I don't have anything - I have nothing left to give. LET ME KNOW YOU HEAR ME!" I wrote a few other lines and then ended with "I don't even feel like reading the Bible, so you're just going to have to show me what to read!" Then Psalm 201 came to mind. What?? There is no Psalm 201??!! "Try Psalm 20:1, Laura" I felt the Lord say. Well, I read the whole Psalm. You read it, too and you'll see why I call that evidence to Believe.

Some may call that hokey, but God has proven Himself to me in little ways through the years, and I now trust that little voice that directs me to a verse. Does it always apply so perfectly? No. Do I miss what God is saying to me sometimes? Definitely. But those times where it couldn't fit better sure do build up my evidence reserve!!

I think maybe the term evidence is relative. What I consider to be solid reasons to believe, others may not. You'll just have to determine what qualifies for you. I am sure though, that God knows what it will take for each of us to believe. We all have our own perfect little package of evidence that was created when we were.

I BELIEVE God answered me directly the other night. That now gives me the Faith to know that God cares about me personally and all the small things (and not so small) things in my life. Thinking back my little "whine fest" was mimicked the tantrum of a 2 year old. I have tons to be thankful for and in the grand scheme of things my situation paled in comparison to those dealing with real issues. But even so, He cares. Yes - for me at least, the Belief comes first then the FAITH, to act and live as God directs, grows. How about for you? Give me your thoughts.

I'm going to hunt down that song now.

Belief - one layer at a time

Today I spent some time thinking about the word "belief". Webster's dictionary defines it as "a state or habit of mind in which trust or confidence is placed in some person or thing". More than a few times over the last few years, God has communicated with me with that one simple word. A dear friend and mentor recently highlighted in her blog, the power of one word. She mentions 2 young people that she recently counseled who were able to break down their life's call to one root word. I guess for me, "Believe" would be the one word that continues to define my spiritual journey. I don't know if that word actually qualifies as a call but it certainly comes up a lot in my time with the Lord.



"Of course it does" you say, "We are believers - Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved... is what Christianity is all about". Yes, but in my life the word seems to have more layers than my southern mother's italian cream cake. In some research I found that "believe" is used in the Bible 143 times (my mom's cake has almost as many layers). The Lord has used it at least that many times in our communication in the last 2 years alone. It comes up in ways I don't expect. For instance I have felt the Lord say to me, "Do you believe I am who I say I am?", "What do you believe I am capable of?", "Who are you going to believe & why?" Some of those questions have stopped me in my tracks. Being a creative sort and having a vivid imagination, I am thankful for those times when God interrupts my snowballing thoughts and brings me back to His reality with those questions.



I remember a specific time in July of 2006, when a situation within my family was at a critical point. By all appearances, God had not answered fervent prayer and the situation could only end gravely. That day in prayer, the Holy Spirit led me to pray something so bizarre for this person, it was apparent that I could not have come up with it on my own, and from there He asked me to BELIEVE. The devil really attacked my thoughts after that prayer and infiltrated my mind with gloom, depair and no end to the situation. That attack became so intense that it consumed me for several hours. Then just before going to bed that night, the Lord said to me, "Are you going to believe me or the devil...what are you going to believe?" It was spoken so clearly, it caused me to get up from my chair and begin to walk about, saying out loud, "I believe YOU Lord, I believe what you have said, I believe the things you have promised". If my family had been awake, I'm sure my pacing and chanting would have frightened them a little. The short version of the story, is that a phone call at 6am the next morning came to verify that God had in fact, called me to BELIEVE that night. He had answered our prayer. I don't know that I can give accurate description to that one, very intense, call to belief but it was just that...a call to belief.



In retrospect, that was one small layer of "belief", that God introduced me to. A layer that I could not reach on my own, one that the Holy Spirit had to guide (or thrust!) me to. So to have "Audacious Belief"...what does it mean? Webster defines "audacious" as intrepidly daring, adventurous, or recklessly bold. Wow - that sounds really exciting. It could also be really frightening if I let my own thoughts take hold. I feel sure that iAUDACIOUS BELIEF is a journey, meant to be digested one nutty, sweet, overwhelming, yet fulfilling layer at a time...much like mom's cake.

Audacious??

The idea of blogging has intrigued me for some time. I'm not sure what has taken me so long. Busy work schedule? Hectic home life with kids? Attention Deficit Disorder? Fear? Ouch(that one hurt)!! Whatever the reason, tonight I felt compelled to BEGIN THE BLOG.



I've actually been mulling over the name of the blog for months. Nothing seemed to quite fit. I even plugged in a handful that came back "unavailable". I then decided to let Holy Spirit direct my fingers and "Audacious Belief" is what came out. What?! Where did that come from?! I must admit I hesitated for a minute and then surrendered to "Okay God - whatever??!!" (Yes, I talk with Him like that).

So, Audacious Belief, it is. Let's see where this journey takes us.