She'll be comin' round the mountain....

Another 2 weeks have passed!! Iactually started this post on Dec. 15th but it's not getting posted until tonight - 12/28. The holidays are just such a whirlwind around our house. Work seemed especially hectic this year. I work for a nonprofit that provides food & emergency assistance to the needy and the needs in this economy have been great. It was a wonderful Christmas though. I hope it was miraculous for each of you. However, I have found myself once again going round and round with things & situations I said I would not do again, plan better for, etc. Am I the only one that gets frustrated because I get into situations where I know I should know better??!! I didn't even get a single Christmas card sent because I was so behind.

It's not just Christmastime. As I listen to conversations going on while waiting in the grocery line, in the aisles at Walmart and at church, I hear many experiencing the same. Why do we keep ending up in the same place? I thought I had gotten past some of the actions that get me to a place of franticness. I thought I had buried some of those habits that eventually bring me to a place that is unhealthy. I was sure I had conquered that old thinking pattern or gotten past that old wound.

After I got back from my youngest daughter's chorus program I thought about this. A mix of 3rd thru 6th graders belted out updated versions of "Jingle Bells", "The Holiday Season" and "Feliz Navidad" to name a few. Everyone loves to hear kids sing at Christmastime (okay maybe not everyone) but I have to admit, some of those songs seem to go on and on and on and on!

There are challenges, habits and patterns in my life that do the same thing...go on and on and on. They seem to keep creeping up even after I thought I learned that lesson or mastered that challenge. Areas like knowing when to say "no" and not overfill my schedule, like not feeling guilty when I do say "no", like not being disappointed when a family member runs over my feelings. Here we go again!

The reality is that on our own, left to our own way of doing things, we'll never move forward. We'll never break out of that cycle of going round and round the same thing or situation. Thankfully, God knew we'd get stuck and stay stuck and He loved us enough to provide a Holy GPS to get us off our redundant human traffic circle. If we'll listen, if we'll ask Him to, the Holy Spirit can and will guide us to break those cycles. He'll show us how to not be wounded by the same things, to prioritize they way He wants us to and thereby allowing for peace in our lives. Deuteronomy 2:3 says, "You have circled this mountain long enough, Now turn north."

Are you ready to listen to what Holy Spirit has to say about the holidays, your schedule, your priorities, YOUR LIFE? Are you ready to BELIEVE that 2009 can be a better, more peaceful, more productive year...a year of getting to know our Lord more intimately... I certainly am!

I have desired to live to please God for many years, but I'm ready for a new level. I'm committing to a new level of AUDACIOUS BELIEF. I'm tired of compassing some of the same mountains and excited that God is allowing me to see it and with that drawing me to BELIEVE for different...for new mountains.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to all!

Here's to us all leaning into the Holy Spirit with a kean ear. I BELIEVE we'll hear a new song. For me it definitely will not be "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes..."

Which comes first..the chicken or the egg?

I remember bits of a wacky little song from childhood with that phrase in the title or at least in the chorus (maybe from Sesame Street?). It was one of those annoyingly catchy tunes that once heard would run circles in your head for hours. When I began to think about the word "Belief" as it pertains to this blog, the word "faith" followed closely behind. Some use the words interchangeably but in the process of digesting both meanings, I began to wonder if one wasn't a prerequisite for the other. But which comes first, the belief or the faith? There goes that tune again!!

If you have the faith of a mustard seed, can you believe for great things? If you believe what God says, do you have the faith to move in the direction He asks? Maybe the words are synonymous or perhaps the Holy Spirit must open our minds before we have either one. Personally, my level of FAITH seems to hinge on what I BELIEVE and I tend to believe in things I've seen evidence of. The Lord has continually shown me that evidence of His presence, His love, His compassion, His grace and more. Sometimes in very unusual ways and some simply through an answered prayer. I mentioned one such specific answer to prayer in the previous post.

Recently I had moment that gave me another piece of evidence on which to base my BELIEF. It had been an unusually hectic week, tons going on at work and both children with various projects to work on. I began to have feelings of frustration and a sense of being completely overwhelmed. I felt like I had nothing left to give to anyone or anything and yet there was no end to all that had to be done. I was smothering - could not breathe and wanted to throw my hands up and say, "God, I can't do all this anymore!" When I went to bed I got out my journal and wrote angrily, " Lord, I don't feel connected to you lately. I feel frustrated, overwhelmed and worn out......I CAN'T DO IT! If you don't show up Lord, then I don't have anything - I have nothing left to give. LET ME KNOW YOU HEAR ME!" I wrote a few other lines and then ended with "I don't even feel like reading the Bible, so you're just going to have to show me what to read!" Then Psalm 201 came to mind. What?? There is no Psalm 201??!! "Try Psalm 20:1, Laura" I felt the Lord say. Well, I read the whole Psalm. You read it, too and you'll see why I call that evidence to Believe.

Some may call that hokey, but God has proven Himself to me in little ways through the years, and I now trust that little voice that directs me to a verse. Does it always apply so perfectly? No. Do I miss what God is saying to me sometimes? Definitely. But those times where it couldn't fit better sure do build up my evidence reserve!!

I think maybe the term evidence is relative. What I consider to be solid reasons to believe, others may not. You'll just have to determine what qualifies for you. I am sure though, that God knows what it will take for each of us to believe. We all have our own perfect little package of evidence that was created when we were.

I BELIEVE God answered me directly the other night. That now gives me the Faith to know that God cares about me personally and all the small things (and not so small) things in my life. Thinking back my little "whine fest" was mimicked the tantrum of a 2 year old. I have tons to be thankful for and in the grand scheme of things my situation paled in comparison to those dealing with real issues. But even so, He cares. Yes - for me at least, the Belief comes first then the FAITH, to act and live as God directs, grows. How about for you? Give me your thoughts.

I'm going to hunt down that song now.